Do you think you are gifted??

I don’t remember the precise date but in January 2008 I began buying some terracotta pots from pottery town to paint on them. Painting was and has always been a hobby. Paper, wood, wall, clothes, glass, plastic, clay - just about anything I would find too pale, would be soon dowsed in color. I was bored with my monotonous job and looking for options in the creative field. Going to pottery town atleast thrice a month soon became a routine I started to enjoy. I would paint the terracotta vases, load it all in the boot of my car and drive to weekend exhibitions held in apartments. I did this for a while in parallel with my work. People appreciated it, told me “I was gifted”. Few bought and some shared feedback, but on most days I would return back with 80 to 90 percent of the pieces I had carried. Not that it was a bad product, just that big pieces were snail movers. It needs planning from the buyers end and most times in apartments people would say “we have limited space, would have bought them otherwise” or “kids at home, it wouldn’t last a day in our home” etc. I agree and share my card with them, hoping they’ll get back to me someday. Very few got back. I ultimately sold a lot of my work for dirt cheap prices because I was running out of space to hold inventory. ‘Terracotta jewelry making workshop’ at a studio in Jayanagar 2nd block’ – Don’t quite remember where I saw that ad but it drew my attention. On enquiring more the workshop sounded good, affordable and something fun to do over the weekend. I decided to register. Who knew a simple move like that would change my career for life! But that wasn’t my first stint with clay - raw unfired clay. Back in my 11th standard summer vacations I did enroll myself for hand building, basic sculpting classes at a different studio. But with my boards starting soon, I didn’t spend too much time on it. Priority was to get a good score in my 12 th standard exams as that would decide the college I would get admitted to. The term ‘workshop’ is relative. Like most others I too was under the impression that a couple of hours is good enough to learn the craft. The classes began, we were all given small quantities of clay along with necessary materials and told to make jewelry. Anything we pleased. I made a necklace and a pair of earrings to go with it. On seeing the outcome my teacher told me ‘I was gifted’. I was happy to hear something familiar. Others who were also taking part in the workshop made some nice pieces and all of them were happy with the treasure they get to take back home. The workshop came to an end. There was a lot more to this material and techniques I was unaware of. Something I wanted know and learn. I kept in touch the teacher who conducted the workshop and I practiced terracotta jewelry making for couple of years before I started selling them online. Not that it had an exceptional start, but it gave me the nudge to quit my job. It was a risk, not a big one though. There has been no looking back since. Today, almost eleven years since that workshop I still work on terracotta jewelry and only recently did I have the courage to start taking online sessions teaching this artform and craft to others. I was told several times by people that I am gifted, but what would have happened if hadn’t quit my job or hadn’t continued working on terracotta post the workshop or quit selling my pieces when the first online store I had registered had shut shop! I can state atleast ten different scenarios that would have pushed me down, rather than raise me up. While that sounds dramatic, I know if not for this I would have landed a job in HR and continued on. But I listened, each time people told me “I am gifted” I heard them. Loud and clear. I took it as a compliment, an encouraging line, but did not let that cloud my judgement about my own work. I needed to learn, improve and feel truly worthy of that line “you are gifted”. It surprises me how people attend a two day workshop, day three they are already selling their products and day four they are teaching this art form for an exorbitant fee!! Talk about over-confidence. I wouldn’t call that a gift. We all are gifted. An inquisitive nature, willingness to “try”, experiment, coping with failure, knowing when to change your course when things aren’t going your way, stop and learn if that is what it takes, don’t let pride and money get the better of you. Knowing these about oneself is a gift in itself.   Do you think you are gifted?  

            Neha Gopinath Pillai